Blast-Off Minus 21 Days

I, Byron Barnett, being of sound mind and body, do hereby begin this chronicle of my last three weeks in Arizona before I move to the Moon.

And please call me “Boon.”

Also I solemnly swear that I’m fine with my personal papers such as this chronicle being published upon my demise, due to how much people will probably want to know about my life and times by then.

In today’s news: I just wrote a letter to Galactic Snacking Solutions Incorporated. I offered to be their first Off-Earth Snacks Ambassador.

Think about it: twenty-one days from now I’ll be living on the Moon, in the lunar colony of Cosmopolis, needing nibbles and such on a regular basis. And I’m already a loyal GaSnakSo customer. (That’s the abbreviation for Galactic Snacking Solutions that I came up with. Efficient, no?)

Where are my stamps by the way?

I could wear the GaSnakSo logo on my jacket or my socks or where-be-it. Also I could do interviews and whatnot from up in Cosmopolis about how GaSnakSo products retain their flavor even outside Earth’s atmosphere.

They don’t have to pay me. All I’m asking is for them to send up a container of snacks for my exclusive on-Moon consumption. Mainly their Space Gazelle Brand of Space Cakes.

A year’s worth should do. Since I’ll be turning ten next month, my body needs the vitamins and minerals in a Space Cake at least twice a day, for sustenance between meals. So that’s two Cakes times 365 days equals 730 Cakes divided by 12 Cakes per pack equals 60.833333 packs. Or we could round it up to an even 75.

Aha! My stamps were in the wrong drawer again.

I only get to bring up three suitcases on The Biarritz as my individual baggage allowance, and I have to cram in all my clothes and comics and toiletries and what have you. (The Biarritz is the rocket-ship we’re taking to the Moon.)

That means there’s no extra room for snacks. Or maybe just enough for a pack of Space Cakes and a couple of boxes of Cheezy Tidbits. Which’ll last a week if I’m lucky. Therefore a snacks ambassadorship would be a convenient source of supplies. Because who knows what Cosmopolis Food Services offers in the way of light refreshment?

I included my home phone number in the letter to GaSnakSo, so they shouldn’t have any trouble getting in touch.

I’m going to the mailbox now.

More soon,

Boon

P.S. Here’s a snapshot I took of part of the Moon poster on my wall. It’s called a “false-color” photo. It’s the real Moon, only with hues and such added in.

Stimulating, no?